One of the Boys: The Beginnings

Here I am beginning yet another blogging en-devour. I always begin with the promise that I will stick with writing it religiously, and then life and reality kick in and I am easily distracted away. I always blame the theme, and thus when I was struck with the inspiration for this, I felt that it was a theme I could stick to: Feminism.

I want to change people's idea of what that word means. There is a vast amount of poorly constructed definitions and understandings of what exactly it means, as well as these confounded notions that we live in a Post-Feminism world. I will attempt to keep my language more professional on this blog than in life, but frankly, that notion is horse shit.

Any who, the inspiration for this particular blog spawned after a day in the park with my boyfriend and some of our mutual friends. The guys brought a football, and were complaining that they had uneven teams, unless, by some miracle, the girls wanted to play. Considering I usually have to explain what is going on during football games to my boy friend, this only slightly peeved me.

I offered to play, and although they were hesitant, they eventually realized if they wanted even teams they would have to let me play. I assumed that once the game started it would not be a big deal, but of course, the argument of if the game should be tackle started.

This once friendly game at the park turned into a heavy debate of if we should start tackling each other. I was of course in an awkward position, not because I was going to argue against tackling, but because I am a rugby player. For hours a week. when the sport is in season, I tackle other girls, many bigger than the boys on the opposing team. What was my problem then? Well I was forced into this position of if I tackled the other boys, then I would be heckled about my manliness, and if I refused to tackle, I would instantly become "the girl" which in our lovely world, means the odd one out who needed special rules made for me.

I decided to agree with tackling, and as the game began, there was hardly any contact anyways. I was not worried about being put into that dilemma. Well, that was until one of the guys on my team asked if I wanted to play quarterback. Again, odd situation because of 1. I can actually throw a football and 2. once the play started the other team did not rush, they put absolutely no pressure on me, as if I wasn't a threat.

Mentally telling myself to just "fuck it" I ran the ball for a touchdown, which of course was argued against because the defense tagged me instead of tackled me. My boyfriend, as much as I love him, said something that made me want to smack him once we had concluded it was a touchdown because I agreed to tackling.
"Jessie just wants to be one of the guys."

I what? I want to be who? I want to be a boy?
False.

I don't want to be one of the boys. This is exactly what Feminism means to me. I want to just be equal. I don't want to be part of a world where I am constantly striving to be one of the "guys". I just want to be talented because I have talent, not talented in comparison to other women, not aspiring to be judged worthy by the privileged sex, just worthy because I am a hardworking human. His comment was more than about just a football game. I want to be seen for my intelligence, strength, and leadership; not through the lens of "womanhood" but through the scope of a human.
I want to live in a world where me playing football is not a big issue that causes ignorant comments and judgments.

With that: Welcome to my blog: One of the Boys